Body Image Part 2
Now that you’ve read about my struggle with body image (and can likely relate, as you’re continuing to read), I’m going to share with you some of the things that have helped me through my journey towards body kindness and body love. We must start to recognize that our bodies are enough.
I have a few action items that I have gathered over the years. I’m the type of person that needs action items - things that are either tangible or things to be mindful of, and to keep coming back to.
Stop commenting on or complimenting someone else’s appearance. Even if you think it’s a compliment, it’s not helping our culture’s obsession with appearance. I get it - it feels good to be told you look great. But, our self worth should not be based on how we look. PERIOD.
Here are some better things you can say to people to make them feel loved and important:
I love your laugh
You’re such a good listener
I love how passionate you are about _______
You are so strong
Your presence lights up the room
I love doing _____ with you
You make me feel heard
I admire your ______
I am so grateful for your friendship
Be grateful. Focus on the things that your body does for you. What do you actually like about your body (maybe besides physical attributes)? When I was working on my relationship with my body, this was the number one thing I did. Every night, I kept a gratitude journal. I listed three things that I was grateful for and three things that I loved about my body. Every night. For months. And it definitely helped. It’s something I continue to come back to from time to time.
Unfollow/unfriend/get rid of people/things that make you feel less than. When I started working on this myself, I unfollowed literally hundreds of people on Instagram. People that posted before and after pictures, that had six packs or toned abs, and people that just made me feel envious of their lifestyles. I no longer buy magazines that have airbrushed models on the cover. I get rid of clothes that my body doesn’t feel good in. Shift the focus to the things and people that inspire you, instead. People that lift you up and make me feel empowered. Clothes that fit your body, not that your body has to fit into.
Do things that make you feel good. Be kind to your body. Over-exercising and restriction don’t feel good. Eating comfort foods and resting feel good sometimes. Sometimes a hard workout and a huge ass salad feels good. Listen to your body. Trust your body. It will tell you everything you need to know.
Give in to genetics. Your body is different from everyone else’s. You will not look like her or him - ever. You may never have a toned stomach or a thigh gap. That’s okay. Body Diversity is beautiful and real.
Watch your language. Stop using words like “good” and “bad” to describe foods, yourself, your habits (or other people!). Stop the judgement. Stop the fat talk. Use kind words with yourself. I really believe you should only say things to yourself that you would say to your best friend’s face. If you’d tell your best friend that you hate how they look, you probably shouldn’t have friends.
Mind little eyes and ears. They are watching you and hearing you. You are their greatest example. Instead of focusing on your imperfections, say out loud what you are grateful for, why you love your body. Ask them what they love about their bodies. Tell them they are strong (or see any of the other compliments above). Tell them all bodies are different and wonderful. They are a new generation and don’t have to spend their lives caring about what they look like in a swimsuit as we have.
This is a rollercoaster, y’all. It is an uphill battle and there will continue to be reminders of how imperfect we are and people to compare ourselves to. But don’t. Tune in. Be Present. Then, come back to these practices. Do your best to enjoy life without wanting to change the only body you have to live in. I’m with you! And, now that I’m a mama, I have an even more important job - to help instill my baby girl with all the body love she can handle.