Mealtime Division of Responsibility
As parents, one of our most important responsibilities is nourishing our children both physically and emotionally. Mealtime can be a battleground or a bonding experience, depending on how we approach it (or… both, if you have a tired/hungry toddler…). Ellyn Satter, a renowned registered dietitian and family therapist, offers a game-changing framework known as the "Mealtime Division of Responsibility" (MDR) to take the stress out of family meals. In this blog post, we'll explore what the MDR is, why it's effective, and how to implement it for happier, healthier family mealtimes.
What is the Mealtime Division of Responsibility?
Ellyn Satter's Mealtime Division of Responsibility is a well-established framework for feeding children that shifts the dynamics of mealtime. It's based on the principle that both parents and children have distinct roles in the feeding relationship:
The Parent's Responsibility:
What to Eat: Parents are responsible for choosing the types of food that are offered at meals and snacks. This involves providing a balanced and nutritious selection of foods.
When to Eat: Parents determine the timing of meals and snacks. They establish a routine to ensure regular, structured eating times.
Where to Eat: Parents create a pleasant mealtime environment, free from distractions, where children can focus on eating.
The Child's Responsibility:
How Much to Eat: Children are responsible for deciding how much or whether to eat from the foods provided by parents. They are encouraged to listen to their internal hunger and fullness cues.
Whether to Eat: Children have the autonomy to choose whether they want to eat a particular food or not. Parents do not force or bribe them to eat.
Why is the Mealtime Division of Responsibility Effective?
The MDR framework is effective for several reasons:
Respects Autonomy: It respects children's autonomy and allows them to develop a healthy relationship with food by making their own choices.
Reduces Mealtime Battles: It minimizes mealtime power struggles and reduces stress for both parents and children.
Encourages a Variety of Foods: Children are more likely to try a variety of foods when they feel in control of their eating.
Promotes Trust: It fosters trust between parents and children regarding food and eating.
Establishes Healthy Eating Habits: Children learn to eat in response to hunger and fullness cues, setting the stage for lifelong healthy eating habits.
Implementing the Mealtime Division of Responsibility
Implementing the MDR may take some adjustment, but it's well worth the effort. If your kiddos are a bit older, like 5-10, absolutely have a conversation with them about how things are going to change in regards to meal time. Don’t blindside them with new rules. Explain why you’re doing this and how it’s going to work.
Here are some ways to implement the MDR:
Plan Balanced Meals: As a parent, plan balanced meals that include a variety of foods from different food groups (I have some free handouts here to help with this!)
Serve Family-Style: Serve food family-style, allowing children to choose what they want from the offerings on the table. I, personally, do not do this yet with my 2 and 4 year old except for some safe foods like fruit – I almost always have ready to eat fruit on the table at dinner time so my kiddos know that it’s available if they want more.
Offer Choices: Offer choices within the meal, such as two vegetables to choose from, to give children a sense of control. Or, when meal planning or cooking, you could ask your toddler “G, would you like broccoli with dinner tonight, or asparagus?”.
Create a Positive Atmosphere: Make mealtime a pleasant, distraction-free environment where family members can connect. Clean off the table, turn the devices off, maybe some pleasant quiet music and fun conversation.
Be Patient: Allow children to explore new foods at their own pace and without pressure. This is essential - kiddos aren’t going to enjoy all the foods right away. Exposures to foods are great, playing with food is great, and when they finally taste it or like it, stay cool and keep your excitement to yourself so they don’t get suspicious.
I go more in depth with all of this in my course - check it out and use code BLOGPOST20 for $20 off the price!
Responsive Feeding and MDR:
Responsive feeding is a comprehensive approach to nurturing a healthy relationship with food in children. It involves attentively observing and responding to a child's cues and needs during feeding interactions. This includes recognizing and addressing hunger and fullness signals, acknowledging and respecting food preferences, and being attuned to a child's emotional and developmental readiness for various foods. Responsive feeding is about creating a nurturing and supportive feeding environment that allows children to develop positive associations with food and eating.
In the context of responsive feeding, the MDR offers a specific guideline for the "what, when, and where" of eating, ensuring that parents provide nutritious meals at regular intervals in a conducive dining environment. By clearly defining these aspects, the MDR allows parents to focus on responsiveness in other critical areas, such as supporting a child's autonomy when it comes to deciding how much and whether to eat from the foods offered. In essence, the MDR is a valuable tool within the larger concept of responsive feeding, helping parents navigate the complexities of mealtime interactions with both structure and sensitivity.
Ellyn Satter's Mealtime Division of Responsibility empowers both parents and children to foster healthy relationships with food. By respecting each other's roles at mealtime, families can reduce mealtime stress, build trust, and establish lifelong healthy eating habits. It's a powerful tool to transform mealtimes into enjoyable, nurturing experiences that support the physical and emotional well-being of all family members.